Twisted love dating violence exposed
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If a narcissist and his latest supply walk into a bar and the narcissist gets drunk, and then disorderly and is thrown out of the bar, whose fault is it?If you answered “the victim’s fault” you answered correctly and this means you understand how a narcissist’s mind works.
I always joked around that my Dad reminded me very much of my two grandfathers and my Mom would always say, yeah if I didn’t know better I would think that my Dad raised him and I know why that is.
And as a criminologist by training I have seen how a broken home can lead to juvenile delinquency and or attachment imbalances in children which leads to potentially placing oneself in situations prone to violence and or crime.
The broken home and attachment theory is normally centered around the loss of a father figure because it is more common, yet the presence of a lost mother is equally detrimental.
Then the human mind would with the help of the superego overcome this innate desire and sexual maturity would then commence normally. I understand that for development reasons the age gap of three to five is pivotal for growth but as I got older and deeper in my studies I then understood that maybe Freud was somewhat right but not in the literal sense.
I think the exposure to the comfort of our parents between the ages of 3-5 have impacts on our dating life later on but it isn’t a sexual attraction to our parents, it becomes a sexual attraction to those who remind us of our parents. I didn’t come to that realization until recently, actually.
When talking about my own experiences, I have neither.
I feel fortunate enough to say that not because I am looking down at anyone who does, but because I feel bad that those pivotal developmental years were tainted by negatively influential nurture. Nurture- still a believer that nurture is more dominant) My parents and grandparents have been married for decades each, same partner.
Children who are exposed to violence in the home growing up are less likely to understand power balances in their interpersonal relationships and either attract abusive partners or become the abusive partners.
Same goes for substance abuse and temperament issues.
My mother also witnessed a very strong relationship and she married someone who she knew fit those standards. Those core years do in fact contribute to an Oedipus complex of sorts.
You are born into your environment (nature) but you become a product of it’s influence (nurture).
That choice will always contain projection of their own accountability for a situation onto whomever (and sometimes whatever) they find to be their nearest victim. It is rampant because our culture not only encourages it, but supports it, through the venue of pop-psychology and the “gotta take care of Number One” mantra.