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07-Feb-2018 02:06 by 7 Comments

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I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m told they really do exist.

Through the wonders of online dating, I can pretend to be anyone I want to be – just like all of the divorced Betties spending their Friday nights glued to the computer screen.Marriage experts estimate that more than 70% of men and women who meet at work are still married after 10 years.One of the advantages of being introduced at work is that you can get to know the real person under the most difficult circumstances before you make any commitments.Ten minutes after my divorce was final, I decided that I’d waited long enough to go looking for the woman of my dreams. The first one was the sausage jockey I left in 1973 after I came home early and caught her playing “Twister” in the buff with the UPS driver.I heard from my friends that dating in the 21st Century might be a tad different than I remember it.By the time my physical therapist released me for action, I’d lost the urge to continue dating.

Another great way to meet someone is by forming a relationship at work.Today, they’re either an “Aunt Jemima,” “Aviation Blonde,” “Bad Kitty,” “Becky”, “Betty,” “Bimbo,” “Bimho,” “Buffy,” “Chank,” “Chicken Head,” “Dime,” “Grizzly Chicken,” “Hockey Whore,” “Hoochie Mamma,” “Hose Beast,” “Jumpoff,” “Pebbles,” “Puck Bunny,” “Skank,” “Space Queen” or a “Yummy Mummy.” A man could be a “Baldwin,” “Mack Daddy,” “Mimbo,” “Scrub,” “Spider” or a “Thoroughbred.” If you feel your biological clock racing, you may want to accelerate things by trying speed dating.This technique was invented by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo as a way for Jewish singles to meet people and was popularized in the hit television show, “Sex and the City.” At most speed dating functions, women are seated at a table and the men rotate between the stations until they’ve met each woman.By the time they’ve figured out who you really are, they’ve probably already taken out a temporary restraining order against you, blacklisted your email address and changed their telephone number.Before you start dating, you need to learn some important terms.I also learned some valuable terms when it comes to members of the opposite sex.

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